"It's very empowering and takes the weight off their shoulders," says Addison Beck about the benefits of Sibshops support groups for siblings of children with disabilities. A special sibling herself, Ms. Beck coordinates Sibshops in the central Maryland area in partnership with several Arc chapters, school district offices, and other service organizations as part of a collaborative effort that began in the spring of 1998.

While attending a training workshop given by Don Meyer (http://www.thearc.org/siblingsupport/workshops.htm), author of "Sibshops: Workshops for Siblings of Children with Special Needs," Ms. Beck and representatives from other area organizations met and decided to work as a team to coordinate and facilitate Sibshops support groups in the region. Collaboration paid off quickly: the first Sibshops group had 11 children in it. "We were able to really get the word out," says Ms. Beck.

Ms. Beck's group runs 5 Sibshops in 5 separate counties, with a maximum of 20 participants allotted for each one. Each group meets for 3 months, for a total of 4-6 sessions. Participants have the option of continuing in future sessions; Ms. Beck estimates that about half of the participants return. While most of the workshops are geared to children aged 8 to 13, there is one group for teenagers aged 13 to 17.

Thoughts and Feelings

Activities range from team-building activities, such as building a tower, to discussions in which participants take turns presenting a problem they are having with their sibling and the others brainstorm solutions. Another discussion activity involves participants receiving a handful of M&M candies, with each color equated to a different emotion (happiness, sadness, anger). Each child chooses an M&M that represents a recent feeling that they had about their sibling, and they share that experience with the group.

The biggest benefit Ms. Beck, who facilitates two of the groups, sees the children getting is "validation and support from other kids so they know they're not alone." Another benefit is the opportunity to have fun with those who understand their situation. "They get to come to a place where they can be independent of their parents and sibling, and can let their hair down and have a good time."

Common thoughts Ms. Beck hears siblings express include the desire for their siblings to be treated respectfully, worries about who will take care of their siblings in adulthood, and feeling that they have more responsibilities than other children their age. "They wish that things could be easier," Ms. Beck explains, "but they love their brothers and sisters and want to take care of them always."

Administrative Advice

Ms. Beck advises all Sibshops coordinators and anyone wishing to start one to seek out partnerships with other organizations. "Collaboration has been the key to our success. We're able to bring our own areas of expertise to the program and we've been able to pull in other facilitators and expand to other counties. We can get the word out to all of the families our different agencies serve."

And Ms. Beck affirms the thoughts of Mary McHugh when it comes to the unique benefits of being a special sibling. "They're so far ahead of the game in life skills, because of their compassion."

For information on Sibshops in your area or on how to start one, click here.

For information on Don Meyer's handbook on Sibshops, click
here.

Copyright (c) 2002 Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co. All Rights Reserved.